I remember being a medical student and hearing various stories from peers about plans for the future; “I’ve always wanted to be a Neurosurgeon” or “It’s important to start thinking about what you need for specialty applications” etc, etc. It’s great to have an idea of what you want to strive for, but it can feel a bit overwhelming if at that stage, you’re not quite so sure.

I was just trying to keep up with the course, and maintain a balance for myself by socialising and playing football where possible. I guess that maybe I felt like I was getting behind by trying to maintain this balance, but through various experiences, I’ve had to learn that maintaining this is key to managing my wellbeing, and consequently, my ability to practise effectively as a doctor.

That said, I still felt “off the pace” at many points throughout medical school, and for a variety of reasons the transition from medical school to starting as an F1 doctor during the COVID-19 pandemic was extremely challenging. I would often get behind with my tasks and I never felt like I was going to be quick enough to manage. However, with support from my supervisors and colleagues I gradually started to improve. As I gained more experience, I found that my slow and steady approach actually helped in some situations. This, as well as reflecting on other life experiences, really helped me when it came to breaking bad news, shared decision making with patients and explaining various investigations and treatments. I think that many appreciated my approach as I listen attentively and have always strived to take patients’ concerns on board.

Overall, I’ve learned that a good approach is to recognise your weaknesses, and seek to make improvements, but to also recognise and value your own strengths. This has helped me find my place as a doctor within the NHS and helped to inform future career choices. I think it is all too easy to think that whatever part of medicine you’re interested in as a student should decide which route you should take; but in reality, many different factors influence this. For myself, as well as clinical interest and the ability to use problem solving skills, I also benefit from working within a team, having variety within my job role, and not being pulled in too many directions at once (as this is not my strong suit, but as mentioned above, I will continue to work on it!).

I am currently applying to Internal Medicine Training, with a view to moving into a specialty which involves long term care of patients with chronic and sometimes terminal conditions. I feel this will best suit my attributes, but I’m conscious that I will also have to be flexible going forward and that there’s always something to improve upon. I hope that this will be helpful to any aspiring doctor trying to ‘muddle their way through’ too.